Blogs
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Our blog posts are written by staff, community parents, kin, customary caregivers, and adoption professionals who share thier first-person stories. We respect the diversity of opinions and the range of unique experiences within our community, and we hope that these stories will spark meaningful conversations.
Change is never easy, and it’s often accompanied by uncertainty, hesitation, and sometimes feelings of disconnect.
As we navigate through this mix of excitement and nostalgia, I can't help but think about a few things I wish we had known back when we were fresh to the whole post-adoption scene.
As prospective adoptive parents begin sort through all the emotions that come post Adoption Resource Event (or ARE), it is important that you continue to equip yourselves during this next phase in your journey.
We know that Baby-delivering storks of our childhood cartoons aren't real—I have to inform you that there is no adoption stork either.
Friend, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you’re not doing enough, know that you are taking care of yourself the best way you can in this moment.
For any families who may be struggling with a child who has similar needs, know there is support out there, know that you aren’t alone. And know that we are #stongertogether.
Raising a child with Autism is no easy feat—but having access to a wide network of people who understand what you’re going through can make all the difference in the world.
Personally, I was not aware of any ‘open’ adoptions when I was growing up. I knew there was a difference between ‘public’ and ‘private’ adoptions but that was the extent of my knowledge of ‘different’ adoptions.
Truth be told our children and youth need much more than an additional 15-week attachment leave, but by delivering this attachment leave, the Government of Canada would be standing up for families who are supporting their children and youth's needs when they join their family through adoption, kinship, or customary care.
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." This quote by Maya Angelou is one of my favorites.
The experiences of Black adoptees and adoptive parents aren’t usually included in mainstream media. However, there have been some inspiring projects that should be celebrated for shedding light on the legacy, challenges and triumphs of adoption in the Black community.
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." This quote by Maya Angelou is one of my favorites.
When I think about all the buzz word of the past ten years, I’m hard pressed to find one more used than “self-care.”
Before I began my adoption journey, I knew I wanted my child to stay connected to her biological family as long as it was a healthy and safe connection.
Things don't have to be perfect to be important, meaningful, and worthy and neither do people. I am committed to loving my children so wholly, that I accept every part of their story and everyone who is a part of it.
We have learned to sit with this grief, though, while intentionally savouring the small, joyful moments we share during the holidays and practising gratitude for this wonderful, messy family filled with love.
Christmas isn’t so magical, but every year we try hoping for progression, change, a glimpse of happiness...
For the parents out there struggling... I see you.
And it is in these truths—that parenting is hard and it so matters—that our commonalities remain; a reality that brings us together.
At first I struggled with feelings of shame and guilt until I realized I was internalizing the criticisms of people who loved me, but did not share my lived experience.
We need resources, we are not trained for this.
This is kinship and it’s really hard.
We have navigated first time driving, first dates and your first job. As I look to the future the list of firsts seems endless.
I wish I knew what the future holds for our child, and our family, but what I do know is that openness does develop beyond placement, and much like other personal relationships it takes time, commitment, and a whole lot of personal growth.
Kids and teens deserve enough time to build these new and complex attachments. 35 weeks is simply not enough time for a youth like me to feel comfortable with an entirely different family, let alone build trust with these unknown parental figures.
There are certainly a lot of complexities in adoption which can and probably should be considered, but ultimately doesn’t every child deserve the same care and opportunity to form attachments in their first year?
My chosen family makes me feel loved and wanted and for me, that’s all I ask for.
What are some things you ask for from your chosen family?
For FASD awareness month, I wanted to take a moment to share my story, one that many people don’t hear about.
As we continue to work and partner towards both a provincial and national Canadian effort that brings increased awareness and understanding of this issue, including the help that families and children need in order to heal from these traumas, it’s important that we (parents, professionals, advocates, first-voice experts) all work together to evolve the language and terms that we’re using.
The opinions expressed in blogs posted reflect their author and do not represent any official stance of Interwoven Connections. We respect the diversity of opinions within the adoption, kinship and customary care community and hope that these posts will stimulate meaningful conversations.
So, I present to you, one stressed out Mama’s guide to openness and the holidays.