Packing Up and Moving On: What We Wish We Knew 10 Years After Adopting
By an Adopt4Life Community Parent
Knee-deep in boxes and on the brink of moving to a new place – a whole decade after becoming a family of 5 through adoption. As we navigate through this mix of excitement and nostalgia, I can't help but think about a few things I wish we had known back when we were fresh to the whole post-adoption scene.
Trauma: First off, who knew that trauma could be like that nosy neighbor who just won't quit? Yeah, turns out it can pop up out of nowhere, even a decade later. Moving seems to have triggered some memories we thought were long buried. It's like, "Hey, remember me?" So, note to self: healing is a lifelong gig for everyone, both parents' kiddos might need some extra TLC during big changes like this.
Trauma-Informed Parenting: Back in the day, we didn't give much thought to trauma-informed parenting. But guess what? It is a game-changer. Knowing that our kid's past plays a role in their present behavior has been like unlocking a secret level. It's all about understanding and dealing with the quirks in a way that shows we've got their back, no matter what -especially on the hard days.
Ask for HELP: And can we talk about asking for help? Seriously, why didn't anyone tell us it's okay to admit we're not super-parents? Whether it's reaching out to pros or just sharing stories with other parents who get it, it has been a huge part of the journey. Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness; it's just saying, "Hey, we're in this together."
Listen to Your Kids: That has been the real MVP. Whether it's decoding their not-so-subtle eye rolls or having a heart-to-heart about the move, paying attention has been key. Our kids might not spill everything verbally, but in our home, actions speak louder than words. Creating a space where they can share their thoughts, especially during a move, has been gold.
Planning: We thought planning was only for big life events, but turns out, it's a friend in everyday chaos too. So, we are not just winging it with this move; we anticipate hard days so are making sure our kiddo feels secure in the middle of the mess. Including making sure we have the right supports where we are moving, visiting the new school, setting up play dates, you name it, we’ve tried it.
As we say goodbye to the place that holds a decade of memories, we're realizing that the journey doesn't come with a rulebook. But armed with these informal life lessons, we're ready for whatever the next chapter throws our way. Here's to moving on, growing stronger, and learning along the way.
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