A Birth Mother’s, Mother's Day

By anonymous  

As a birth mother, Mothers’ Day is a difficult time. I cannot share in that celebration of joy and fulfillment. It’s complex and emotionally overwhelming. I love my child, as all mothers do. However, I chose for my baby to be raised by another.  

This day brings back my experience, the deep sense of loss and grief resurfaces. I do not doubt the decision I made, it was the right decision, but that “rightness” doesn’t remove the longing, doesn’t erase the heartache. I wonder if my child thinks of me on Mother's Day, if they also feel that sense of longing and loss.   

I remind myself that while it may not be in the traditional sense of being his "mama," I am still his mother and will always love him unconditionally. 

To all the adoptive parents out there, I ask you to remember birth mothers on Mother’s Day. While this is a day of celebration for you, for us we often feel forgotten, invisible, and excluded. 

And to my fellow birth mothers, I want you to know that you are not alone. We may have made different choices, but we all share a common bond in our love for our children. While this day may bring up difficult emotions, I hope that we can find solace in the fact that we made the best decision we could for our child, and that our love for them will never fade. 

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