AFCCA Blog Series: Blog 2

By Tanya Eichler

Covid Aftermath

AFCCA stands for Aggression towards Family and Caregivers in Childhood and Adolescence

In the 2+ years that the AFCCA Family Supports Program has been in place, I’ve developed a list of 15-20 recurring themes and patterns in my role as an AFCCA Clinical Lead. Some are more pressing, while others are foundational. Understanding what might be happening in the aftermath of Covid is the most foundational of all.

I remember when we were in the middle of Covid and clients would talk to me about being really stressed out and they couldn’t understand why. I think that because the whole world was struggling with the same thing, we all minimized the stress we were experiencing. Now that we are a couple of years beyond shutdowns, I believe we are still minimizing the effect that Covid has had on us as individuals and on our society. For families dealing with AFCCA, the impact of Covid continues to be severe.

Imagine Covid as a massive earthquake that shook the entire world. We’re still in the cleanup phase and haven’t truly begun to recover. For families experiencing AFCCA, the loss of services and support during the pandemic was enormous. If we need a village, these families need a larger village (which they rarely have) and they frequently lost everything. We were told to be afraid of being around people.  Our children lost valuable social development because they were not able to experience peer groups in classrooms in a healthy way. Therapeutic hours, sports, visits with extended families, routine, medical and assessment opportunities were lost.

For so many, what was experienced instead was an increase in relational trauma in our homes because of the intensity of stress often manifesting as dangerous behaviour. There is a reason the National Consortium on AFCCA observed the intensity of family experiences increase dramatically during Covid. We believe AFCCA has always existed (mainly in silence) but the intensity of relational stress during Covid amplified its presence, with little to no support to help. When people become stressed, they become self-protective and move out of relationship, often interpreting others’ behaviour and intentions more negatively. The pervasive, underlying stress of the pandemic had a profoundly damaging effect on many relationships in our lives.

As society began to open up again, we all hoped things would go back to “normal”. But the social, emotional and financial earthquake had happened. From where I sit working with various families and systems across Ontario, Canada, I believe we are still far from normal and are still reeling post-Covid.

Teachers and schools are exhausted, and often reactive in that exhaustion. Many of the services families relied on before Covid have not returned. Respite services are extremely difficult to find. Mental health services are overwhelmed. Medical services continue to feel sparce and rarely meet the complex needs of the children and families we work with. Child protective services have been stretched so thin; they feel like they are in survival mode themselves. And all of us, whether individually or systemically, when we are in survival mode, are rigid, defensive, and not as creative or helpful as we could be if we were ok.

There are individual exceptions within each system, and this blog isn’t intending to disparage any of the systems. Instead, I hope we can all recognize collectively that we aren’t in the post-Covid recovery phase yet. That is even more difficult because the families and children that I know are struggling to the point of breaking down and they desperately need effective help right now - and that help rarely exists. When we feel powerless, it's natural to seek someone to blame.

I hope to encourage us all to take a collective deep breath and offer grace to ourselves and each other. We are not okay yet. As service providers, we need to slow down and listen to the struggles of parents and caregivers. We need to care for ourselves to stay creative and resourceful in times of scarcity. Collaboration, and utilizing each other's strengths, are crucial, as no single system can meet all the needs we’re seeing.

There’s hope, though. I’ve seen positive changes when people try new approaches, and I believe our AFCCA Family Supports Program is learning a lot about better supporting AFCCA. While we’re still recovering from the pandemic’s effects, kindness and understanding are essential.

If you’re a professional working with families affected by AFCCA, please take care of yourself. Be aware of when you might resist collaboration or new ideas—this resistance might stem from feeling overwhelmed. Creativity thrives in supportive, collaborative environments.

For caregivers, your challenges are very real, especially when your home no longer feels safe and support services are limited. If you have a professional or peer supporter who understands your situation, involve them in meetings to help advocate for your needs and explore creative solutions. Spend time with anyone who understands your situation because isolation fuels stress and AFCCA. You are not alone, and you deserve to be seen and validated.

We can’t tackle AFCCA in isolation, but by rebuilding connections and community lost during Covid, we can move towards a healthier future.