When frustration arises, take a breath and consider the cost of prioritizing efficiency: impatient, intolerant, and rigid people and systems. Instead, let’s practice gratitude when things don’t go perfectly. Inefficiency might just be the teacher we need.

To other adoptive, kinship, and customary caregivers, I want to say this: you are not alone. Openness is a journey, and it looks different for every family. Trust your instincts, listen to your children, and give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.

Many of us have heard the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We may not realize that this phrase originates from a Nigerian proverb because it has been usurped in various communities. In the Eurocentric Western world, which often idealizes individualism and the traditional nuclear family, we seem to be moving further and further away from having a supportive village and closer to isolation.

Like a window that’s crystal clear, glass children are often overlooked because so much attention is focused on their sibling’s needs. While they may appear strong and resilient, glass children can feel unseen, their own needs fading into the background.

I was one of those glass children.

Welcome to the first post in our new blog series, where we'll be exploring what we are discovering while working as a clinician within the AFCCA (Aggression Towards Families and Caregivers in Childhood and Adolescence) family support program. In this initial post, I’ll address the 5 W's—who, what, why, when, and where—to give you a clear picture of what to expect.

Welcome to the first post in our new blog series, where we'll be exploring what we are discovering while working as a clinician within the AFCCA (Aggression Towards Families and Caregivers in Childhood and Adolescence) family support program. In this initial post, I’ll address the 5 W's—who, what, why, when, and where—to give you a clear picture of what to expect.

I hate summer break. There, I said it.

Change is never easy, and it’s often accompanied by uncertainty, hesitation, and sometimes feelings of disconnect.

As we navigate through this mix of excitement and nostalgia, I can't help but think about a few things I wish we had known back when we were fresh to the whole post-adoption scene.

Friend, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you’re not doing enough, know that you are taking care of yourself the best way you can in this moment.

Personally, I was not aware of any ‘open’ adoptions when I was growing up. I knew there was a difference between ‘public’ and ‘private’ adoptions but that was the extent of my knowledge of ‘different’ adoptions.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." This quote by Maya Angelou is one of my favorites.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." This quote by Maya Angelou is one of my favorites.

When I think about all the buzz word of the past ten years, I’m hard pressed to find one more used than “self-care.”

Before I began my adoption journey, I knew I wanted my child to stay connected to her biological family as long as it was a healthy and safe connection.

So, I present to you, one stressed out Mama’s guide to openness and the holidays.

We have learned to sit with this grief, though, while intentionally savouring the small, joyful moments we share during the holidays and practising gratitude for this wonderful, messy family filled with love.

Christmas isn’t so magical, but every year we try hoping for progression, change, a glimpse of happiness...

For the parents out there struggling... I see you.

And it is in these truths—that parenting is hard and it so matters—that our commonalities remain; a reality that brings us together.