Why we need Time to attach
Truth be told our children and youth need much more than an additional 15-week attachment leave, but by delivering this attachment leave, the Government of Canada would be standing up for families who are supporting their children and youth's needs when they join their family through adoption, kinship, or customary care.
Time to Attach: Older Youth Adoption
Kids and teens deserve enough time to build these new and complex attachments. 35 weeks is simply not enough time for a youth like me to feel comfortable with an entirely different family, let alone build trust with these unknown parental figures.
Time to Attach: Why I went Back to Work when my twins were 27 weeks old
There are certainly a lot of complexities in adoption which can and probably should be considered, but ultimately doesn’t every child deserve the same care and opportunity to form attachments in their first year?
The days were nothing compared to the nights
Our youngest daughter started her life with us by crying the entire hour-long drive home.
Être parent et affronter le maelström
« Les crises de colère de notre fille ont été sans relâche pendant les six premiers mois d’école. Simplement repenser à tous ces pleurs et hurlements me fait toujours autant chavirer le cœur. »
Les comportements de nos enfants dépassaient largement notre expérience
« Notre aînée se plaignait à nous qu’elle allait “manquer de temps” parce qu’elle avait été trimballée de foyer d’accueil en foyer d’accueil pendant sept ans et qu’elle avait déjà onze ans en arrivant chez nous. »
3 raisons pour lesquelles les parents adoptifs ont besoin d’un congé parental prolongé
« Dès que ma fille a commencé l’école, elle avait besoin de mon attention tous les jours. Toutes les occasions étaient bonnes pour me sauter sur les genoux. »
Our Children’s Behaviours Were Wildly Outside of Our Experience
Our elder daughter laments to us that she is “running out of time,” because she was in-and-out of foster care for seven years and didn’t come home with us until she was eleven.
After His Whole World Changed, Our Son Needed Us with Him to Feel Safe
Every game of tag, every goofy joke—even the arguments about whether he needed to wear his coat—were all small steps to deepening our attachment.
Self-employed? You’re on your own, financially, after you adopt!
With no EI benefits, I’ll be able to take about three months off at home with my child.
3 reasons why adoptive parents need extended parental leave
My daughter craved my attention daily, as soon as she started school. She’d jump in my lap at every opportunity.
Nine months is not enough time to heal from so many losses
My children are still struggling to get to know a stranger they now call Mom.
Families like ours deserve better
I was only eligible for 35 weeks of parental leave, even though we adopted three children from foster care over a two-year period.
After 16 months joined at the hip—literally—my little boy is finally attaching
When my son says “cuddle,” everything else stops, so he knows that love, security and family come before everything.
Investing in Attachment
We use our time as currency, our hugs and kisses as money in the bank.
Parenting Through the Storm
Our daughter tantrumed non-stop for the first six months of the school year. Just thinking about all the screaming and crying at that time still rocks me to my core.
I spoke up about my adoption experience to advocate for change in Ottawa
I no longer felt alone, because I had all of these wonderful women by my side working to make changes too.
The first year of our infant adoption was a rollercoaster of love, grief and difficult decisions
I had never heard of post-adoption depression and would think to myself: How can I feel sad when my dreams of being a mom have finally come true?
We had to choose between our grieving nieces and our financial security
They had been neglected, witnessed domestic violence and possibly been abused. They showed many signs of being traumatized.
My adoption leave expired before we even got our children home
Our doctor likened our experience to PTSD, after we adopted our twins internationally.