Time to Attach: Why I went Back to Work when my twins were 27 weeks old

By Adopt4Life Community Parent

Our adoption story starts with the unbelievable privilege of with being chosen by a birth mom, and in our case a birth mom expecting twins. As is common with twins they were born early (by 8 weeks). Their birth was followed by 3 weeks in NICU before they came home. They were beautiful and although tiny (4lbs each) they were healthy.

Our two babies came home with us, and we cared for them day and night like all parents do. The difference is that when they were developmentally 27 weeks old (preemies need some catching up time), we needed to go back to work. Our leave was over and taking an extended unpaid leave wasn’t a realistic option.

Under the current system biological parents receive 15 more weeks then families formed by adoption. Our two children were not more ready to be separated from us than a biological child would be. There are certainly a lot of complexities in adoption which can and probably should be considered, but ultimately doesn’t every child deserve the same care and opportunity to form attachments in their first year? Why should adoptees be given less? They have already come into the world having lost so much.

The opinions expressed in blogs posted reflect their author and do not represent any official stance of Adopt4Life. We respect the diversity of opinions within the adoption, kinship and customary care community and hope that these posts will stimulate meaningful conversations. Our #timetoattach campaign continues with the aim to adapt public policy to introduce 15 weeks of parental leave (attachment leave) for adoptive parents and kin and customary caregivers. As we, along with Western University and the Adoption Council of Canada, have worked to bring awareness to this important support required for families and children, it has been so important to share the real experiences of parents and their children as they sought to form healthy and lasting attachments. Find out how to share your story.