The holidays can be triggering. Here’s how to cope
Before adopting my daughter, I’d fantasized for a long time about our perfect first Christmas.
By Sylvia Kyle for Local Love.
Before adopting my daughter, I’d fantasized for a long time about our perfect first Christmas. There’d be a new puppy tearing around the living room, gift mountains, holiday movie marathons, a magnificent tree and happy faces. And last Christmas, after I was matched with a teen girl, my vision was finally manifested. Sort of. We brought home an adorable little yellow lab the week before the holidays, we stacked the sofa so high with presents that we almost broke Instagram, we bookmarked a bunch of festive films on Netflix, and decked a bushy tree out with twinkling fairy lights. All that was missing from our holidays? The joy.
Adoptive parents seek longer leave
Western researchers are leading a national push for 15 more weeks of work leave for adoptive parents as an important way to strengthen the bond between parents and their adopted children.
Western researchers are leading a national push for 15 more weeks of work leave for adoptive parents as an important way to strengthen the bond between parents and their adopted children.
Biological and adoptive parents currently receive parental leave of up to 35 weeks; biological mothers receive an additional 15 weeks of maternity leave.
Adoptive parents need more time off to bond with kids, say Western researchers
A group of Western University researchers and community partners are asking Canadian politicians to grant adoptive parents and caregivers more time to bond with their children during the early stages of adoption.
By Hala Ghonaim for CBC News
A group of Western University researchers and community partners are asking Canadian politicians to grant adoptive parents and caregivers more time to bond with their children during the early stages of adoption.
CBC News: A call for 15 more weeks of parental leave for adoptive parents
Chair of the Ontario's Adoptive Parents Association board and Western University professor and researcher, Carolyn McLeod tells London Morning why adoptive parents could use an additional 15 weeks of parental leave.
On London Morning with Julianne Hazelwood
Chair of the Ontario's Adoptive Parents Association board and Western University professor and researcher, Carolyn McLeod tells London Morning why adoptive parents could use an additional 15 weeks of parental leave.
Listen on London Morning.
Western team advocates for attachment leave for adoptive parents
A team of Western University researchers in partnership with Adopt4Life: Ontario’s Adoptive Parents Association is advocating for a new class of employment insurance benefits for adoptive parents, and customary and kin caregivers.
By Judy Basmaji for the Western Gazette.
A team of Western University researchers in partnership with Adopt4Life: Ontario’s Adoptive Parents Association is advocating for a new class of employment insurance benefits for adoptive parents, and customary and kin caregivers.
Recognizing Adoption Awareness Month and Adopt4Life’s Partnership with MCCSS
Recognizing Adoption Awareness Month and Adopt4Life’s Partnership with MCCSS. Read the full letter in PDF format here.
Adopt4Life announces expanded Parent2Parent Support Network with new Openness Specialist to support Ontario families formed through adoption (EN/FR)
Adopt4Life announces expanded Parent2Parent Support Network with new Openness Specialist to support Ontario families formed through adoption. Adopt4Life annonce qu’une spécialiste en adoption ouverte joindra le Réseau de soutien Parent2Parent afin d’aider les familles adoptives de l’Ontario
Adopt4Life Hosts Attachment in Adoption Campaign and Honours Black History Month
TORONTO, ON, February 1, 2018—Adopt4Life, Ontario’s Adoptive Parents Association, is excited to support and provide insights on Attachment with a campaign that explores the intricacies of bonding and attaching with children and their families who have been touched by adoption.
RE: Statement from the Minister of Children and Youth Services on Adoption Awareness Month, November 1, 2017
On behalf of Adopt4Life, please accept our appreciation for the statement made by Minister Michael Coteau in the Ontario Legislature on November 1st, 2017, recognizing the importance of Adoption Awareness month. As the Chair of Adopt4Life’s Board of Directors, I was deeply appreciative and thankful for Minister Coteau’s remarks. I know my feelings were also shared by everyone at Adopt4Life, particularly those in front-line service roles who are delivering the critical supports and services to families that Minister Coteau spoke of.
Ministry of Children & Youth Services
Mr. Michael Coteau, Minister of Children and Youth Services, Ontario
Ms. Nancy Matthews, Deputy Minister of Children and Youth Services, Ontario
RE: Statement from the Minister of Children and Youth Services on Adoption Awareness Month, November 1, 2017
On behalf of Adopt4Life, please accept our appreciation for the statement made by Minister Michael Coteau in the Ontario Legislature on November 1st, 2017, recognizing the importance of Adoption Awareness month. As the Chair of Adopt4Life’s Board of Directors, I was deeply appreciative and thankful for Minister Coteau’s remarks. I know my feelings were also shared by everyone at Adopt4Life, particularly those in front-line service roles who are delivering the critical supports and services to families that Minister Coteau spoke of.
Since its inception, Adopt4Life has directly enabled more than 800 adoptive parents to support their children in realizing safe, healthy, and permanent family connections. More than 260 of those families have received direct support from a Parent Liaison since our partnership with the Ministry of Children and Youth Services (MCYS) was formalized. While those numbers are impressive, the true impact is much larger, touching not only adopted children and their parents, but also grandparents, other extended family members, kin, and cultural communities across Ontario. As Minister Coteau noted in his statement, adoption is a lifelong journey for children and parents; and at every step along the way, having the critical peer supports that Adopt4Life provides is essential.
Earlier this year, Adopt4Life sourced an independent, research-based program evaluation of the Parent2Parent Support Network. The findings of that evaluation have been shared with many of our MCYS stakeholders. I’d like to highlight a few key findings that further support the impact Adopt4Life is having with Ontario families:
90% strongly agreed/agreed that the supports provided through the P2P network helped keep children with serious challenges safe.
94% of adoptive parents strongly agreed/agreed that the P2P network helped their family move forward with an adoption.
96% strongly agreed/agreed that the P2P Network increased the stability of their family.
100% strongly agreed/agreed that the P2P network helped to decrease feelings of isolation amongst parents.
Source: ‘2017 Adopt4Life Parent2Parent Support Network Program: A Comprehensive Evaluation’ by Sarah Serbinski, PhD. Reflects responses by adoptive parents asked whether they agreed that the Parent Liaison created a specific outcome for them.
These results demonstrate the positive impact that your support for Adopt4Life and the Parent2Parent Support Network has had on Ontario families. We are grateful to your Ministry for investing in permanency for adoptive families and championing the critical importance and value of peer support for adoptive parents. We look forward to continuing to partner with you to expand Adopt4Life’s Parent2Parent Support Network, and to empower more parents to provide loving, permanent homes for children in Ontario who need them.
Best regards,
Dr. Carolyn McLeod
Chair, Board of Directors
Adopt4Life: Ontario’s Adoptive Parents Association
Adopt4Life Hosts 'Openness in Adoption' Campaign, Recognizing Adoption Awareness Month
TORONTO, ON, November 6, 2017 – Adopt4Life, Ontario’s Adoptive Parents Association, is excited to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month in November with a campaign that explores ‘Openness in Adoption’ in all its forms, for Ontario families.
Adopt4Life Important Parent Liaison Team Update
As Adopt4Life’s Executive Director, I have the pleasure and privilege to work with a team of deeply talented individuals who are all passionately invested in our community, supporting parents and families on their adoption journeys. Today I have several important organizational updates to share with everyone regarding our Parent Liaison team.
As Adopt4Life’s Executive Director, I have the pleasure and privilege to work with a team of deeply talented individuals who are all passionately invested in our community, supporting parents and families on their adoption journeys. Today I have several important organizational updates to share with everyone regarding our Parent Liaison team.
First, Kimberly Sanzo has accepted another position outside of Adopt4Life and will be leaving effective November 3rd. We’re saddened to see Kimberly leave, as during her tenure as our Provincial Parent Liaison she has been an amazing contributor to the launch of the Parent2Parent Support Network, the development of our social communities, and has engaged 1:1 with many community members to provide much-needed peer support. We’re excited to see her take the next step in her career path. We wish Kimberly all the best in the future, and look forward to her remaining active in our adoption community.
We have built a strong, vibrant Parent Liaison team across Ontario, and as a result I’m also very excited to share that Kathryn Connors and Joy Wicks-Nicholls are both taking on Team Lead/Provincial Parent Liaison roles. They will partner to cover the expanding regions, continue to grow and develop our Parent Liaisons, and support the core activities of the Parent2Parent Support Network. Kathryn and Joy are both exceptionally qualified to take on these new opportunities with complementary skill sets that will expand the support and leadership for our Regional Parent Liaisons:
• Joy is also an adoptive parent of three children. For over a decade, Joy has practiced as an Occupational Therapist in adolescent mental health, and now provides community-based occupational therapy services to individuals experiencing the effects of injury. Joy has particular interests in attachment, trauma, connected parenting, prenatal substance exposure, transracial and First Nations adoption, and sibling adoption.
• Kathryn is an adoptive mom to three children. Kathryn holds a Master’s Degree in Critical Disability Studies as well as a Bachelor of Social Work. Her previous work experience includes supporting families of children with special needs and providing crisis intervention to young adults with developmental disabilities. She has extensive lived and professional experience with openness, foster-to-adopt processes, crisis prevention intervention (CPI), and children’s mental health.
You’ll find their full bio’s on Adopt4Life’s website.
Congratulations to Kathryn and Joy on their newly expanded leadership roles in the P2P Parent Liaison team, and our best wishes to Kimberly. Our team is executing a thorough transition plan that minimizes any disruption in support services to our community members, who will increasingly see more of Kathryn and Joy in our social communities and other engagements. As always, if you’re a parent needing support, please reach out to our P2P team for assistance. We’re always #strongertogether.
Warmly,
Julie Despaties
Executive Director
Adopt4Life
MCYS - CYFSA Youth, Families and Communities Discussion Guide
The Ministry of Children and Youth Services (MCYS) is currently working to support the implementation of the Child, Youth, and Family Services Act, 2017 (CYFSA), which was passed on June 1, 2017. As part of this work, we are sharing the CYFSA Youth, Families and Communities Discussion Guide to help gather feedback from about the implementation of the CYFSA. Please review the document and provide your feedback by September 22, 2017. The discussion guide provides the ways in which you can share your feedback.
Adopt4Life’s Position on Child, Youth, and Family Services Act 2017 (Bill 89)
With the recent approval of Bill 89, even greater focus is needed on defining the detailed regulations that will determine its implementation. Adopt4Life remains ready to consult with the government on the definition of those regulations, as well as support anyone in our adoptive parents’ community who has questions.
MoE Directive to Directors of Education, Regarding Motherisk Commission
We are writing with our immediate and urgent request that you withdraw your March 20th directive to Ontario Directors of Education that they distribute to schools and students the flyer from the Motherisk Commission: “Were you taken from your parent by the Children’s Aid Society?” Further, we ask that you urgently notify all Boards and Directors to tell staff who have already posted the flyer (in print or online) to remove it.
re: Addresses:
To: Bruce Rodrigues Bruce.rodrigues@ontario.ca
Ministry of Education
Bruce Rodrigues, Deputy Minister of Education
Mr. Rodrigues,
We are writing with our immediate and urgent request that you withdraw your March 20th directive to Ontario Directors of Education that they distribute to schools and students the flyer from the Motherisk Commission: “Were you taken from your parent by the Children’s Aid Society?” Further, we ask that you urgently notify all Boards and Directors to tell staff who have already posted the flyer (in print or online) to remove it.
Families across Ontario are expressing significant concerns over this communication to Ontario schools, and the lack of consideration it shows for vulnerable children across the province:
The language and tone in the flyer vilifies Children’s Aid Societies, which provide an essential service in our province. The flyer also creates fear in the minds of children that the Children’s Aid Society will “take them” from their families. Further, some of the information is factually incorrect in suggesting that all CAS agencies used the Motherisk hair tests, and that these tests were consistently used “to see” if parents were using drugs or alcohol;
The generalized statement about children being “taken from their parent” ignores the role of adoptive parents in a child’s life, and de-legitimizes the permanency of adoptive families;
Generally, the flyer creates fear in all children that they could be “taken away from their parent” at any time; but in particular, it is a clear trigger to children who have been placed into foster care or adopted in Ontario;
Within the adoption community, we are mindful to keep our children’s stories private and confidential as they are not ours to share. This communication has the potential to expose our children to emotional and psychological harm, with little regard for providing them with any level of support or guidance.
It’s important to acknowledge that even if the Ministry of Education’s directive is retracted, students and families across the province have already been exposed to the damaging messages included in it. It is critical that school staff and families have the support and information they need to control and respond to this harm in the best interests of children. Thus, we are further asking that the Ministry of Education ensure that educators are equipped with information, facts, and culturally appropriate strategies to participate in meaningful dialogue with affected students and with their peers (who may make inappropriate comments or bully students who were, in fact, “taken from a parent”—i.e., a birth parent).
The work of the Motherisk Commission is critically important, and we fully support it. Their findings have been a tragedy for the affected children and families, and everyone involved deserves support, respect, and some form of restorative justice. In this instance it is important to consider intentions separately from actions and execution. While, with the flyer, there was likely the noble intent of ensuring that all potentially affected children and families have access to the Motherisk Commission and their resources - respectfully the execution was poor and sadly, has negated the good intent.
We welcome the opportunity to work with you closely to remedy this situation, and to balance the important objectives of the Motherisk Commission with the ongoing need to support and protect our most vulnerable children.
Sincerely,
Julie Despaties
Executive Director, Adopt4Life
CC:
irwin.elman@provincialadvocate.on.ca
Drew.Davidson@ontario.ca
Nancy.matthews@ontario.ca
Peter.Kiatipis@ontario.ca
MCYS: Enhanced supports for Crown wards, adopted Crown wards and their adoptive families
Supporting existing adoption resources
Adoptive parents will receive more support through training programs, parent resources and peer programs to help their families thrive. Additionally, more children and youth will be supported in finding a permanent family.
MCYS: New Supports for Families Who Adopt
Ontario Helping More Children Find Permanent Homes and Access Postsecondary Education
As Ontario enters Adoption Awareness Month, the province is launching new supports for adoptive families, including a grant program to help families cover the costs of postsecondary education for adopted children.