A quote about supporting heritage, from an A4L Community Member.

Never did we imagine the level of openness we have but now we couldn’t imagine it any other way.

While we unfortunately are not able to have openness with our children’s birth parents at this time, we are fortunate to have a beautiful relationship with the person who raised them over quite a long period of time. She made the transition home seamless, teaching us how to follow the kids’ lead and emotions, and helping us learn routines.

People ask us things like, “Is it hard for you, seeing his biological family?” No, not at all. For me, personally, it has never been weird or difficult, and maybe I have been lucky in that regard. But, does it really matter if it was? We have this relationship for Cooper, so in my opinion, my personal feelings are really quite irrelevant.

Adopting parents must be prepared to make similarly difficult choices. They must risk devastating emotional disappointment by preparing for a single child’s arrival in their lives.

I am so grateful for Adopt4Life and I'm trusting that what its members tell me is true. In the long run this will benefit our kids and I've even been told we will love our third family and all they offer eventually. For now, its hard, its awkward but I’m getting there.

I would recommend to anyone raising children with FASD and without to expose them to lots of people with various disabilities. Have honest conversations about why the rules and expectations may differ from child to child. Get the siblings involved in awareness initiatives. Foster a respect and curiosity about the brain. It turns out, brains are really, really cool.

As more and more information becomes available about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, it is sometimes hard to understand what type of impact FASD can have on a person. However, I can tell you from my own children, it is not a scary diagnosis, it is just part of who they are.

Fast forward to today, and I find myself thinking of that old wooden coaster more often than you’d think. Together with my husband, we’re raising three children by adoption, including two young boys who live with FASD (as well as developmental trauma and a myriad of co-existing diagnoses). And with that, we all live with FASD and the roller coaster feelings that it brings to our lives.

And if I were in a movie, I wouldn’t be a person anyway. I’d be a cat--that cat that sits on your keyboard when you’re trying to work. Or the one that tries to jump on the counter, and just ends up knocking stuff off instead... I have FASD and here’s a day in my life.

I feel like I am making a significant difference in the lives of those also affected by FASD by speaking up and not trying to repress it. Knowledge should be shared to combat stigma. Society should be open to understanding differences and realize behaviours are symptoms of a needed environmental change.

Two years ago, my husband and I adopted a sibling group of two under four years old age. Going from no kids to two kids at similar developmental stages—it felt like I had just adopted twins. What had I done!? I had left a full-time job in health care to on mat leave within 2.5 weeks. From pant suits to yoga pants and mom bun with limited adult conversation. Although I loved new motherhood, it was really challenging on so many levels.

As a parent I am passionate about, and dedicated to, facilitating an open culture that allows for my child’s cultural heritage and history to be instilled in him throughout his life. I want to make sure that my son has a strong sense of self and of cultural identity. This is an important and critical aspect of our family life which we remain dedicated to.

I want to make sure that any family adopting a First Nation, Métis or Inuit child feels supported. That they feel like they can attend the powwow and cultural events and feel welcome. For this reasons I attend powwows, ceremonies and other cultural activities with the families.

Although I had learned in PRIDE training about the importance of providing cultural food, music, experiences, and role models, I had never heard anyone talk about how you have to learn about racism to parent a child of another race.

There’s the scary question that I’ve been asking myself since PRIDE, where we were all made to consider our cultures and how they may differ from our adopted children.

If asked what aboriginal children and youth in care need from a foster or adoptive family, I would have to say they need a family that is loving and compassionate... A family that can give them a sense of belonging while at the same time a sense of identity by making sure they have people in their life who can help them learn the teachings and ceremonies and who they are as the original people.

For our children, adoption has altered their lives in the best way possible. We strongly believe that older children need to be given more rights and a stronger voice in their families of origin prior to apprehension and later within the public system. As a family, we will continue to advocate for the revolutionary changes needed.

It is 2017 and there should be no more stigma or fear of what is beyond your control, including who you choose to love or make family.