Although I had learned in PRIDE training about the importance of providing cultural food, music, experiences, and role models, I had never heard anyone talk about how you have to learn about racism to parent a child of another race.

There’s the scary question that I’ve been asking myself since PRIDE, where we were all made to consider our cultures and how they may differ from our adopted children.

If asked what aboriginal children and youth in care need from a foster or adoptive family, I would have to say they need a family that is loving and compassionate... A family that can give them a sense of belonging while at the same time a sense of identity by making sure they have people in their life who can help them learn the teachings and ceremonies and who they are as the original people.

For our children, adoption has altered their lives in the best way possible. We strongly believe that older children need to be given more rights and a stronger voice in their families of origin prior to apprehension and later within the public system. As a family, we will continue to advocate for the revolutionary changes needed.

It is 2017 and there should be no more stigma or fear of what is beyond your control, including who you choose to love or make family.

“But having a Mom and Dad is more natural, isn’t it?” There it was, the dreaded “N Word”...Ask yourself the question—roses are normally red but does that make the blue rose any less beautiful or worthy of a place to bloom?

Now, for most adopted youth this idea is ironic, it was ironic even for me. The state of lasting unchanged, indefinitely. It must be a joke because only "normal" kids get that.

We are capable of changing the world; we just need people who believe in us.

Unfortunately this work isn’t something I can put on my resume, but despite all the residual “what-ifs”, building permanency for a child is the greatest work I’m going to do in my lifetime!

Not everyone is lucky, not everyone gets a forever family, and the unconditional love that comes along with it; and for those who never do, they wait and wait until it finally sinks in that it is never happening.

Adoptive parents and families need support. We need to be able to access these supports in the moment. Professionals can help in many ways but they go home at night. We are living this.

Kids need families and families need support.

~ Adoption Council of Ontario ('Kids Deserve a Family' Adoption Awareness campaign 2014)

Families are the cornerstone of our society. Families raise our children and build our communities. As families succeed, Canada succeed.

~ His Excellency, Governor General David Johnson, Throne Speech 2013

Post adoption peer support is an invaluable way to help adoptive families succeed

By every measure, children adopted from care have better outcomes than children who age out.

~ Dave Thomas Foundation for adoption

Parent2Parent support can increase the likelihood of permanency for children from care.

La longue attente avant de devenir une famille adoptive en bonne et due forme est l’un des défis les plus durs que nous ayons eu à relever. On se fait à l’idée de n’avoir personne à qui parler ou à qui demander de l’aide. Nous n’aurions jamais pu nous en sortir sans l’aide de la communauté d’Adopt4Life. Ils nous ont épaulés à chaque étape – pendant l’attente, le choix de notre enfant, la phase de transition et finalement comme parents.

En tant que nouveaux parents adoptifs, nous nous sommes souvent sentis indignes.

J’ai toujours cru que « la question n’était pas de savoir si ça peut être fait, mais plutôt COMMENT ce doit être fait ». En tant que nouveaux parents, nous avons pu nous tourner en tout temps vers le réseau de soutien d’Adpot4Life. Grâce à eux, nous avons pu exprimer nos préoccupations et par ricochet apporter du soutien aux autres. Merci pour toute l’aide fournie pour accueillir le nouveau membre de notre famille!

J’aurais tellement aimé savoir qu’Adopt4Life existe lorsque nous avons suivi notre cours PRIDE. Le temps qui s’écoule entre l’approbation et l’arrivée d’un enfant à la maison est bien difficile. Cette communauté nous a fait réaliser que nous ne sommes pas seuls à vivre ces émotions. Maintenant nous avons deux enfants avec nous à la maison et nous poursuivons le processus d’adoption et je m’aperçois que je fais appel à Adopt4Life de plus en plus souvent.

Every child and youth needs a forever family that provides support, unconditional love and a safe loving home.

~ Mary Ballantyne, Executive Director OACAS

Parent2Parent support can help every child and youth have the unconditional love and safe loving forever home they need and deserve.

Adoptive families bring to their children and youth an open heart and a willingness to do a lot of hard work, but they cannot (nor should they) do it alone.

~ Adoption Council of Ontario ('Kids Deserve a Family' Adoption Awareness campaign 2014)