I Don’t Like Christmas
By Yvonne Farrow, an Adopt4Life community parent
Halloween night, after the unique experience of trick-or-treating in 2020, my 12-year-old daughter is downstairs decorating her room for Christmas. Putting up tinsel and garland, pulling out the Christmas scented soaps, plugging in colourful lights, hanging the word JOY over her bed. She LOVES Christmas.
I… do not.
I do not like the clutter of Christmas decorations around my home—more things for my children to destroy. I do not like the hustle bustle of people rushing here and there, planning this event and that—my life feels busy enough already. I do not like the consumerism, the buying of things we don’t need, the pressure to purchase something for someone just because “it’s Christmas”—my kids don’t need any more THINGS and neither do I.
Before you call me the Grinch (my husband already does), please hear me out. In our family, we do celebrate the birth of Jesus and that is something I DO like… actually, LOVE about Christmas. God made flesh, dwelling among us as a man of suffering and familiar with pain, coming with a message of HOPE for all mankind—this is something worth celebrating! The greatest GIFT. And as Jesus’ love for people lives on in historical figures like St. Nicholas, I can totally get on board with the idea of GIVING at Christmas to those who don’t have enough because we already have MORE than enough.
And… for the record, I do like the warm glow of Christmas lights framing our home, hot chocolate in Christmas mugs and Christmas songs at church... but that is ALL! The wrapped-up trinkets, over-spending and children consuming copious amounts of sugar—I can do without.
Now, let’s talk GIFTS… I often call our children “treasures” or “gifts” because these words so accurately describe how I feel about them. With two children biologically ours and four children ours through adoption, I believe that every child is a GIFT, no matter the path that brings them to us. Our biological children are just as much gifts as our adopted children, all entrusted to us by God for a time.
As I consider the unique circumstances that brought each of our adopted children to us, I cannot help but marvel at the GIFT it is to parent them.
Jody Landers says so eloquently:
“A child born to another woman calls me Mom.
The magnitude of that tragedy
and the depth of that privilege
are not lost on me.”
This is how I feel all through the year, but especially at Christmas when we take pause and reflect about gifts and giving. Not a thing in the world that could be unwrapped on Christmas morning could compare to the children entrusted to us.
They are the most precious of GIFTS.
They remind me that BEAUTY can be found in brokenness, HOPE is alive, and we have reason to REJOICE.
All beautiful themes of that first Christmas.
So, as we enter another holiday season, closing out a truly “unprecedented” (I know you haven’t heard that word enough!) year, may we give thanks for all that we ALREADY have.
Is parenting our kids through adoption easy? All sunshine and rainbows? Absolutely not. And you’ll definitely find me extra frustrated and lacking patience this holiday season, while my toddlers’ smash ornaments, my baby pukes on the tree skirt and my 5-year-old breaks the toy she just received from Nana.
But my hope for your family and mine is that we won’t lose sight of what really matters. We have families woven together through brokenness and loss and a whole lot of LOVE… with SO much to rejoice in.
We have each other.
The opinions expressed in blogs posted reflect their author and do not represent any official stance of Adopt4Life. We respect the diversity of opinions within the adoption, kinship and customary care community and hope that these posts will stimulate meaningful conversations.