In private adoption, a potential birthmother has a month after her baby's birth to consider this most monumental decision of her life.

When we were matched with our children, we were informed that they had continued openness with their siblings. We were nervous (mostly because we didn’t know much) yet excited. Our children, from the day we met them, they were so excited to share that they had brothers.

Ultimately, weaving valued connections into the fabric of family creates a more textured and interesting life, and contributes to our children's identities and sense of belonging in the world.

A quote about supporting heritage, from an A4L Community Member.

Never did we imagine the level of openness we have but now we couldn’t imagine it any other way.

While we unfortunately are not able to have openness with our children’s birth parents at this time, we are fortunate to have a beautiful relationship with the person who raised them over quite a long period of time. She made the transition home seamless, teaching us how to follow the kids’ lead and emotions, and helping us learn routines.

People ask us things like, “Is it hard for you, seeing his biological family?” No, not at all. For me, personally, it has never been weird or difficult, and maybe I have been lucky in that regard. But, does it really matter if it was? We have this relationship for Cooper, so in my opinion, my personal feelings are really quite irrelevant.

Adopting parents must be prepared to make similarly difficult choices. They must risk devastating emotional disappointment by preparing for a single child’s arrival in their lives.

I am so grateful for Adopt4Life and I'm trusting that what its members tell me is true. In the long run this will benefit our kids and I've even been told we will love our third family and all they offer eventually. For now, its hard, its awkward but I’m getting there.